It was a really good thing we had going, even if for such a short amount of time. You, with your calming presence and joyous laugh, I want to say thank you.
Thank you for teaching me the art of being patient. For building a foundation of a friendship and showing me how it’s important to get to know someone in the beginning. As a woman I’ve been taught to pounce onto anyone who shows interest even if in my gut I know this isn’t what is best for me. It’s still interest though, right?
My life is a constant slew of, “Are you dating?”, “How do you not have a boyfriend?”, “It’s a shame you’re still single.” This bugs me.
Yes, I cannot wait to find someone to share life with. To sit on the floor and laugh with until 2:00am, to make mundane errands be fun, and to support, love, and be faithful with. This does not in turn mean I have to settle for anything that comes my way just because it is there.
I’ve always given more in relationships than I probably should have. I do not regret this. My goal in life is to make the ones around me feel loved; if that’s what I left you with, my job is done.
I deserve someone who is going to look at me as though I’m magic. You didn’t do that and for the first time in my life, I realized that was okay. Just because you didn’t look at me like that does not mean someone won’t in my future. You taught me to choose myself instead of choosing another relationship where I carry all of the weight because I’m 23 and if I’m not in love, how shameful.
I am in love. I am in love with figuring out the best way to love myself. I have so much to offer this world and the people in it. You taught me, by the way you didn’t act around me, the way I want a man to act around me. Please know this is no fault of your own and you never let me down, I hope you know this. I just wasn’t your magic and you let me realize how I didn’t have to force every slight interest in my life to be my magic.
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